Reading our old messages made me feel a little nostalgic . It’s crazy how things change from one day to another. I miss those good days, but I have to learn how to move on without feeling anger and resentment. Slowly but surely I will. I know I can. I’m a strong person.
It’s funny how I am on my vacation watching one of my favorite bands, and I still can’t take my mind off of you. You’re constantly on my mind especially now since you’re in some relationship you “love”. Maybe you do love her, and if you do, I’m very glad, but wtf was I to you?! Did you just lie to me when you told me things like “I love you ems” “te amo”? My emotions were never to be played with! I’m not a little toy you can play with whenever you want. I’m so fucking angry! I wish I could move on easily. I can be fucking guys, but I’m not. Not even since I heard you proclaim your love to this girl. I think I’m just going through the resentment phase right now so excuse me when I say this, but fuck you. You’re a fucking asshole. You say you don’t wanna hurt women yet you fucking play with them. You’re a fucking hypocrite. You’re not worthy of being called a man. Fuck you. I hope that girl does that same thing to you.
I think the worst part of this is that you moved on so quickly while I’m here feeling helpless and lost. It makes me wonder if I ever meant anything to you. Was I just another little pawn to you? Was I just another girl that gave you the attention you desired? I genuinely thought you cared about me, but I guess I was just making myself believe you liked me. Who goes and puts a fucking Facebook status “proclaiming their love” for a person 72 hours after things ended? Seriously fuck you! I should’ve fucking listened to everyone who warned me about. I shouldn’t have given you the benefit of the doubt. Fuck you and your “I love you/Te amo/Tqm” text messages, but mostly fuck me for being a pendeja and believing you. What type of person leads someone on? How can you play with someone’s emotions like that? You, sir, are a complete jerk. I hope you never have to experience that horrible feeling. This is sick. How I still care for you after all this? I fucking hate myself right meow. My friends all tell me to move on, but it’s not that easy. I still think of you. I shouldn’t though. I know I was the last thing on my mind while you partied with your little white girls. I need to move on, but I don’t know how. Every time I hear my phone ring, my stomach gets queasy thinking it’s a text from you. Same with a phone call. I hope it’s you calling me, but I know none of that will ever happen. I know in the future, this will all be lesson to me, and I’ll laugh at how depressed I was about this, but for the time being, my heart is completely torn apart.